Basketcase

Today feels like the middle of deployment for some reason.  I can't stop my eyes from randomly tearing up, I can't get these negative thoughts out of my head, and I just want to sit in a corner and make it all go away.  Yes, I realize he should be home in 2 very slow and agonizing weeks, but it might as well be 2 months because that's what it feels like.

I suppose this feeling started yesterday morning, he called at 7:30 and we only talked for like 8 minutes.  We just didn't have much to say, and we were both a little edgy (probably from the end nearing soon but not soon enough).  But when you only get to talk once a day (sometimes not at all) 8 minutes just isn't enough, even when you have nothing to say.  (Geez here come the tears again and I have no idea why).  About an hour after we got off the phone, his mom calls me and tells me about the US soldier killing 13 Afghans and now the Taliban is really mad and wants revenge.  All this while the love of my life is still in that country.....not a good thing for me to handle.  Well since then, I've been really worried.  What if they change their mind and keep Ricky's platoon there to help fight whatever comes their way? What if they send them back to a base and he doesn't get to come home in 2 weeks? What if their planes get taken over? Yes, all these things have been running through my head non-stop for the last day and a half.

Then he didn't call this morning, and I just continue to get more worried.  Maybe they are sending him to his next destination on the way home, maybe they closed communication because something bad has already happened, maybe he's just upset at how edgy I was yesterday when we talked so he didn't want to call today (not likely but hey I am a girl).  So many more things running through my head.

He finally called about 30 minutes ago, everything is fine, nothing has changed, he's still on schedule to leave, they aren't going to send them back out on missions.  All that worrying for nothing.  Doesn't that seem to be how life goes a lot of the time? Worrying constantly about something you have no control over and it turns out to be fine? I struggle with worrying a lot.  God has been trying to help me out in that department for years now.

So please pray that the next 2 weeks go very quickly and he makes it safely out of that terribly country.